EMT.

One of our paramedics told me a story the other day about a cardiac call he ran involving a very young girl. The child was younger than 2, and had a heart complication. this paramedic described how he was in the back of the ambulance, with this girl dying in his arms, praying out loud to God in front of all the firefighters that he would get his IV line placed in time before she died. He did it, and she improved.

Yesterday, I was in the back of an ambulance on a ridealong. We were transporting a very sick 91-year-old man to the hospital. He had the flu and a rising temperature. He was dehydrated, needed fluids. My friend, the paramedic treating him, took the time to show me how to put together an IV, and then demonstrated how to place it in the man's vein. He explained everything to me, teaching me. He explained how hard it was to start a line on an old person because their veins roll, their skin is thin... then, while in the back of a moving ambulance, on an interstate at 60 miles an hour, and even though he clearly was nervous, he landed the needle in the man's arm perfectly and got him the fluids he needed to save his life.

I've decided I'm going to take the EMT class. The PR girl is crossing that invisible line between field and the administrative side, of only in a very small way. It's only a semester. 2 nights a week, a few saturdays. I want to have even a fraction of a clue what the men and women I represent do each day. I won't be a paramedic, I will only be allowed to do basic life saving, but that will be enough for me. And, selfishly, I'm hoping it will help me stand out to the crews in the field... maybe I won't be just a 'carpet walker'...

I'm going to school in the fall. I can't wait.

ambulance driver.

Yesterday while running calls on a truck (which I love doing by the way, no matter how boring it can get) we went to a outpatient surgery center where one of the surgeons proceeded to call the two uniformed men with me "ambulance people"... now, until I started working here, I had no idea how much those words stung to the EMTs and Paramedics who risk life and limb for stupid ass pirates (he and his team had just screwed up a woman's colonoscopy) like himself. I was hurt for them. It is degrading and embarrassing to have the profession you're so proud of demeaned and belittled. This surgeon made me fiercely angry.

I was so mad I woke up this morning, still pissed off. I texted the younger paramedic who I rode with yesterday and about the fact that I was still mad... he had gotten over it. He is used to it. Which is fucking sad. I am still angry for him, and for all the other people that asshat surgeon insulted with that one comment.

So, below, I've copied a post one of my new friends put on his facebook page. It is a bit long, but well worth a read and will help any laymen understand why that surgeon's comment was so insulting:


If any of you ever wonder why WE (EMT's and Paramedics) hate being called an ambulance driver….. this is why… 

You wouldn’t call a policeman a police-car driver or a firefighter a firetruck driver…. so, why call us Ambulance Drivers……

I am Just an ambulance driver, you say as I am on the scene of a vehicle accident that has a popular high school student that is trapped in the submedged S.U.V. in the creek as I’m standing in chest deep water,freezing rain falling and stinging as it hits the exposed parts of my body. Holding her head above water to keep her from drowning until rescue could get there to cut her free—
BUT I’M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

I comfort a 89 year old woman who just watch me and my partner cover the face of her husband of 64 years as he lay dead in their bathroom floor—
BUT I’M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

I am on scene at another mva with mom trapped upside down in her car and her dead sons body laying on top of her without a second thought for my own safety i crawl into the wreckage to take C-spine control and calm the frantic lady—
BUT I’M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

I get called away from my just prepared meal to respond to the middle of B.F.E to a house with no numbers,no porch light on,nobody waiting to signal us in and they because we took too long only to find out the patient left in there own vehicle ten minutes ago…so we smile and walk away from the verbal lashing only because we are
JUST AMBULANCE DRIVERS

I stand in the middle of the street at midnight on the wrong side of town trying to patch the holes and stop the bleeding of a 19 year old shooting victim with the occasional bullet wizzing past our heads we never break stride because this kids life is in our hands—
BUT I’M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

Or how bout doing chest compressions on a 16 year old girl who decided this life was more than she could take.Her family screaming at us to help as though we are the ones who did this to her.Her lifeless body flailing about as the tube goes in and IV’s being started, my arms and back burning from the pain of 30 minutes of CPR never once giving up, hoping she would make it through and over come whatever lead her to this bad decision—-
BUT I’M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

Death is all around me and still i go home to live my life
i get kicked,hit,spit on, bled on, puked on,cussed at and disrespected…
i look into the eyes of a lifeless child at 7am and by 8 am i’m holding my child a little tighter and they know nothing about what happened. i have hundreds of hours of classroom time
years of in the field experience i have challenged death and won.

i’ve helped the helpless
i’ve neglected my family for yours
i find comfort in complete chaos
i eat cold meals if i eat at all
i work with no sleep for days at a time
i miss birthdays,holidays and school functions
i put myself in harms way for a total stranger on a daily basis

ALL BECAUSE I AM JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER

I AM AN AMBULANCE DRIVER!!! I DRIVE 90 MPH THROUGH CONJESTED TRAFFIC FULL OF PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO YEILD RIGHT OF WAY WHILE MY PARTNER STANDS UNRESTRAINED IN THE BACK OF THIS SCREAMING LAND MISSLE SAVING YOUR LOVED ONES LIFE!! NEVER ONCE DOES HE QUESTION MY DRIVING HE KNOWS THAT AT THE END OF THIS SHIFT HE WILL GO HOME TO HIS FAMILY SAFELY BECAUSE I AM AN AMBULANCE DRIVER….

backtrack.

I've realized a huge 6-month chunk has been left out of my lifeblog.

I'll fill my nonexistent readers in.

June 2011: {this is where most of my last posts left off} left my job as a successful tv news producer, after self-destructing and having homicidal thoughts about my boss, leaving my financial fate to my husband... bless his heart.

July-August 2011: spent 3 months in my pajamas being the worst housewife ever... bombed 1 interview for a job I didn't really want anyway...

September 2011: after a phone interview, 2 on 1 interview, a "you do a presentation to us and our boss" interview, AND a "take you out to lunch so the girl you'll share an office will evaluate you" meeting, (count 'em-- 4 interviews) I was hired at a local EMS agency in the pr department, having had no pr experience whatsoever. I thank my lucky stars.

Over the past few months I've been slowly learning and acclimating to the EMS world. It's exciting to be a part of such a rapidly evolving industry. It is not anything I ever thought I'd have the privilege to be a part of. I have crossed over from the dark side of TV news. I am now the PIO being hounded by media for information (a very odd thing for me)...

I have tried, maybe too hard, to make friends with the women and men in the field because, even though they don't know it, I feel like I fit in better with them than I do the other office folks... aka "carpet walkers"... We have the same black humor I developed after working half a decade in a newsroom... but most of them don't have a flying clue who I am or what I do... so it tends to be slightly frustrating. I'm not good when I'm left to my own devices...

I walked into our 911 dispatch center one day recently (after working there for about 3 months) and heard someone yell not very subtly "who is THAT and WHAT does she do HERE?"... I was honestly kind of embarrassed. I don't know why... but I think it has a lot to do with where I came from. It was a much smaller staff that I considered family... and I knew everyone... I was the fucking queen bee... and now? nobody even knows my job title or what it means (Community Engagement Coordinator... I deal with the public, yo.)

It is important to bear in mind that just 5 years ago, the PR department at my agency was all but non-existent. It's a growing and changing beast, this business. Yesterday I spoke with a veteran paramedic who has been with the agency since I was 2 years old, and really, before the agency was even an agency. He told me the industry has changed in ways he never thought possible. When he was but a young paramedic, he never imagined there would even be a need for a community outreach person... much less a PR department 3-women strong. I imagine that has to be tough, to see so many changes. But I can't help but think it's for the better, right?

It's kinda lonely in my office without the police scanners we had at the news station... it's too fucking quiet... I find myself making up reasons to wander into our dispatch center just to hear some sense of normalcy.

I've made tremendous progress making friends, I think. Not the "go out and have a beer together" kind of friends, yet... but maybe we'll get there... I hope...

Satisfied.

I'm starting week 3 of unemployment. And as I begin this gorgeous Monday morning, I'm starting to realize just how satisfied I am with my life now. The sun is shining, there's a slight breeze and before it reaches an ungodly temperature this afternoon, I can sit and enjoy reading on my porch.

There are few things that really make me happy like a pretty day. When I worked in the newsroom, I didn't get enough of them. There are no windows in the newsroom, I never know if it's sunny, raining or sometimes, we'd look out at our tower cameras and find it was-- much to our surprise-- snowing. I've spent the past 5 years of my life like that. And now, there's a tremendous satisfaction in knowing that I'm free.

Granted, Matt still wants me to get a job. And really, I need a job. I abandoned my promising career in search of something greater... I still have no idea what that something is, but from this view, on my porch, I know it does not include serving a life sentence in a newsroom.

I did interview at Operation Christmas Child last week. For 2 hours and 15 minutes I sat and talked with a guy named Chris. It was a great conversation and great interview. If I don't get the job, at least I can say it was a positive experience... one that I've not had often since it was only my 2nd ever interview after college... I'll hear from them this week.

I am now a part of the public relations committee for Habitat for Humanity York County. The committee is just getting re-started. I created a press release last night for HFHYC and got an immense feeling of satisfaction in crafting something as simple as a release.

I just want to become a writer. I'm not asking for fame-- just enough money to get by... guess I'd better get at it... because what better way to start than with a beautiful day and a breeze.

"Better than sex."

That's how my dad described his drive in a NASCAR around the track at Charlotte Motor Speedway on Saturday. My sister and I were surprised at that description... but were happy he was so happy :) haha. It was his birthday and father's day present... and something he can now cross off his bucket list.

I made a video of it. Short and sweet. :)

unemployment.

I'm day 5 into unemployment. It's been pretty much what I expected. I wake up, I drink coffee in bed until I feel like getting a shower and cleaning/organizing my house. I'm kind of in a holding pattern. Samaritan's purse said I'd hear about the job I interviewed for by this week. So I'm kind of hesitant to apply for any other jobs at the moment.

Enough about jobs/work/lackofwork.

My parents and sister are coming up today for part of the weekend. Dad's going to drive a NASCAR around the track in concord... it was a birthday present-- because what ELSE do you get for the man who has everything and wants nothing? :)

Matt's little brother Nick is moving in this month. I've been cleaning/clearing our guest room so he can take over. It's a lot harder than I thought to condense 3 rooms into 2. We've piled my Jeep with stuff to take to Goodwill. It feels kind of therapeutic to clear it all out.

I realize the longer I'm unemployed the more boring my writing may become. *sigh*

interview.

Today I had a phone interview for a job with Operation Christmas Child. It's a ministry of Samaritan's Purse. It's a temporary (June-December) Media Relations job. The job doesn't pay much, but I think I'll be rewarded in many other ways for my efforts. It's where I want to take my life, both personally and professionally. I have been given so much in my life and I know there is so much I have to offer others... I need to give back.

So anyway, I'll hear in about a week or so if they like me. We'll see. The job doesn't pay much (hardly enough to cover my gas frankly) but it will be my stepping stone into the direction I hope to go.

My last day at work is Friday. I can't wait.