backtrack.

I've realized a huge 6-month chunk has been left out of my lifeblog.

I'll fill my nonexistent readers in.

June 2011: {this is where most of my last posts left off} left my job as a successful tv news producer, after self-destructing and having homicidal thoughts about my boss, leaving my financial fate to my husband... bless his heart.

July-August 2011: spent 3 months in my pajamas being the worst housewife ever... bombed 1 interview for a job I didn't really want anyway...

September 2011: after a phone interview, 2 on 1 interview, a "you do a presentation to us and our boss" interview, AND a "take you out to lunch so the girl you'll share an office will evaluate you" meeting, (count 'em-- 4 interviews) I was hired at a local EMS agency in the pr department, having had no pr experience whatsoever. I thank my lucky stars.

Over the past few months I've been slowly learning and acclimating to the EMS world. It's exciting to be a part of such a rapidly evolving industry. It is not anything I ever thought I'd have the privilege to be a part of. I have crossed over from the dark side of TV news. I am now the PIO being hounded by media for information (a very odd thing for me)...

I have tried, maybe too hard, to make friends with the women and men in the field because, even though they don't know it, I feel like I fit in better with them than I do the other office folks... aka "carpet walkers"... We have the same black humor I developed after working half a decade in a newsroom... but most of them don't have a flying clue who I am or what I do... so it tends to be slightly frustrating. I'm not good when I'm left to my own devices...

I walked into our 911 dispatch center one day recently (after working there for about 3 months) and heard someone yell not very subtly "who is THAT and WHAT does she do HERE?"... I was honestly kind of embarrassed. I don't know why... but I think it has a lot to do with where I came from. It was a much smaller staff that I considered family... and I knew everyone... I was the fucking queen bee... and now? nobody even knows my job title or what it means (Community Engagement Coordinator... I deal with the public, yo.)

It is important to bear in mind that just 5 years ago, the PR department at my agency was all but non-existent. It's a growing and changing beast, this business. Yesterday I spoke with a veteran paramedic who has been with the agency since I was 2 years old, and really, before the agency was even an agency. He told me the industry has changed in ways he never thought possible. When he was but a young paramedic, he never imagined there would even be a need for a community outreach person... much less a PR department 3-women strong. I imagine that has to be tough, to see so many changes. But I can't help but think it's for the better, right?

It's kinda lonely in my office without the police scanners we had at the news station... it's too fucking quiet... I find myself making up reasons to wander into our dispatch center just to hear some sense of normalcy.

I've made tremendous progress making friends, I think. Not the "go out and have a beer together" kind of friends, yet... but maybe we'll get there... I hope...

Satisfied.

I'm starting week 3 of unemployment. And as I begin this gorgeous Monday morning, I'm starting to realize just how satisfied I am with my life now. The sun is shining, there's a slight breeze and before it reaches an ungodly temperature this afternoon, I can sit and enjoy reading on my porch.

There are few things that really make me happy like a pretty day. When I worked in the newsroom, I didn't get enough of them. There are no windows in the newsroom, I never know if it's sunny, raining or sometimes, we'd look out at our tower cameras and find it was-- much to our surprise-- snowing. I've spent the past 5 years of my life like that. And now, there's a tremendous satisfaction in knowing that I'm free.

Granted, Matt still wants me to get a job. And really, I need a job. I abandoned my promising career in search of something greater... I still have no idea what that something is, but from this view, on my porch, I know it does not include serving a life sentence in a newsroom.

I did interview at Operation Christmas Child last week. For 2 hours and 15 minutes I sat and talked with a guy named Chris. It was a great conversation and great interview. If I don't get the job, at least I can say it was a positive experience... one that I've not had often since it was only my 2nd ever interview after college... I'll hear from them this week.

I am now a part of the public relations committee for Habitat for Humanity York County. The committee is just getting re-started. I created a press release last night for HFHYC and got an immense feeling of satisfaction in crafting something as simple as a release.

I just want to become a writer. I'm not asking for fame-- just enough money to get by... guess I'd better get at it... because what better way to start than with a beautiful day and a breeze.